speaking in reference to food of course. Some days I am fine and can eat whatever is around the house. Some days I can make whatever with whatever we have and it's all good. But most days my cravings are very specific. This is actually a normal thing for me, to crave food more than be open to whatever. But when I am pregnant it is taken to a whole new level. Often to the point that I am nearly crying.
For example, I had a bit of a down day today and really was in need of some good comfort food. I am pretty sick of leftovers from Thanksgiving and not really feeling in the mood to cook. So order in it is. Well I absolutely cannot decide what I want. I want everything but nothing. Too many things sound good but all of them could be the wrong decision...how do I choose the right one? What do I really want? Well it seems like I'm leaning more towards pasta. As I'm looking up menu's I realize it is getting late and the later it gets the more desperate I get for food. So now I cannot wait for Mark to go to a restaurant farther south than his work and possibly have to wait for the food to be ready and then take the sometimes 45 minute drive home. So now I'm even more confused and I'm starting to get frantic! The time just keeps ticking away and I'm no closer to a decision. I decide to look at closer restaurants and realize that American Fork is chalk full of fast food restaurants and pretty lame when it comes to nice restaurants with quality, comforting food. What do I do?!?! I'm near tears now. Finally I realize that just down the road from Marks work is Cafe Paesan. Pasta? Yes! Does it sound good? Yes! Is it out of the way and could possibly add another 30 minutes to Marks eoa home? No! Finally after nearly an hour of wasted time I find a solution but I still want to cry because I am soooo flipping hungry and I still have to wait. I don't dare risk having a snack at home for fear of it changing my craving...which I have learned can happen, and it really leaves me usatiated the rest of the night!
If there is one thing I know about myself when I am pregnant it is that food becomes an obsession. And not only do I get obsessed but I get extremely particular. Not only that but my mind always thinks I'm a lot hungrier than I am and I always get way too much food! I don't mind leftovers but when it's something homemade and it's already been prepared on my plate I usually have Mark finish it...no wonder the poor guy gains weight when I get pregnant! Some of these things are how I naturally am but the frequency and the intensity of these situations triple when I get pregnant! My obsession greater and my choosey-ness more extreme. Oh it seem so pathetic but it feels so difficult! Sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself!!
On a somewhat related note, I had my 16 week appointment today with the midwife. She questioned my weight gain, saying I hadn't gained at all, but I told her that my home scale shows I have gained 3 pounds. I told her not to worry because come 20 weeks the weight will start piling on(probably more than it should as Christmas is around that time!). Then she told me that Intermountain Healthcare has decided the shutdown their clinic! :( Bummer! She said something would come in the mail from IHC suggesting other OBGYN's at other hospitals and she said to ignore it. They(the 3 midwives) have decided to stick together and are moving to offices at Timpanogos Hospital. She said they are still delivery at Orem Community and she is 99% sure they'll take our insurance(let's hope!). I was really put out when she first mentioned this thinking I'd have to go to a doctor. These midwives have been great and I've loved going to them so far. I'm really hoping that they will still take our insurance! I would be super bummed if I had to find somewhere else to go!
We moved on to feeling my uterus and listening to the heartbeat. Heartbeat was 160 bpm and my uterus felt to be about a 19 week uterus. I reminded her that it was likely because of the fibroid and then we went on to discuss the possible challenges and issues that can come from having a fibroid while being pregnant. I knew when I asked that just because she says the possible problems doesn't mean it's what will happen. But hearing things like the worst case scenario can really leave you feeling scared. So I left the appointment feeling a little down and a little sad at what COULD happen. I think I have lots of praying to do and hope that others will pray for me too!
We scheduled my 20 week and gender revealing ultrasound for the first week in January. She offered to schedule it the week before Christmas and I wanted sooooooooo bad to say yes! But I let my brain do the talking knowing that in the end we'll save money if we wait til after the new year. So January 3rd it is! Can't wait to find out the gender of this little one! If it is a boy, I am convinced he wont have a name...why is choosing names and agreeing with your spouse on them so hard? And if it's a girl then we'll finally get to put a name to this little sweetie. Can't wait!
1 comment:
What you describe about cravings is exactly what I went through in the beginning. I may or may not have had a few meltdowns because of it.
That stinks about your midwives--I hope it all works out because being pregnant is stressful enough. If you do need to switch, let me know, because I'm seeing a group of midwives in Pleasant Grove whom I have been very happy with.
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