the cleaning fairies

As I look around at my house I keep wondering how long it will be before my house will be clean and stay clean. I need like some magical cleaning fairy or a house elf or something :) There are 3 gigantic piles of unfolded laundry that have been hanging out in our bedroom for like a week and today I am about to add three more gigantic piles to the mess. Will I just get off my lazy but mostly tired butt and fold it all? I'm not even going to say probably not because I know it wont happen.

Unfortunately having so much crap in my bedroom stresses me out and I've noticed that it makes me a lot more short with Audree, especially when there is all this stuff in my room for her to ruin, mess up or get in to. It would be so nice just to lay down in my bed and wake up to a spotless bedroom. Haha, yeah right!

I know it has still only been 3 weeks and I can't expect too much of myself. I am exhausted, Mark is exhausted and with the constant attention I am giving to Arya right now Audree uses that as an opportunity to bust my chops and do everything she knows I would put her in time out for if I wasn't occupied with feeding Arya. But I'm hoping in a couple of weeks we'll be able to get into a better groove and Arya will get on a schedule and I'll be able to get things done and keep up on it all. Seriously the exhaustions from having a newborn the second time around is so much more taxing. I swear pregnancy ages me like 5 years. I remember all this being so much easier with Audree.

You wanna know what is funny, we have had Arya with us for 3 weeks and I still want to call her Audree all the time. Not when I am referring to her but when I am talking directly to her. I feel so stupid everytime I say Audree instead of Arya. I wonder why that is...

We had Arya's weight check this morning and she is now 7 lbs. 15 oz. That's how much Audree weighed when she was born. But it's good news. She now weighs 6 oz more then when she was born. I must say I am relieved. Though I know that she gained weight because I've been pumping and feeding her a bottle. For some reason everytime I breastfeed her she gets really lazy at sucking and falls asleep and even when i wake her up and put her back on she instantly becomes lazy again, then trying to get her to wake up for the next feeding is super difficult and she tends to eat less...it's like this downward spiral that needs to be fixed but I am not quite sure how to fix it. Has anybody else had problems with lazy/sleepy breastfeeders and have some good advice for me? Pumping works for now but eventually Arya will become more demanding and I wont be able to devote that much time to pumping and then feeding Arya. Quite the pickle.

We are grateful though that Arya is gaining weight and now that we know what the problem was before we can keep working on it until she can be 100% sustained by breastfeeding...or like 90% depending if we want to keep offering her bottles or not.

I'm also pleased to report that things are starting to calm down immensely. For the first couple weeks I was almost positive that I didn't want anymore kids, at least for a really long time. Now I am feeling like this isn't so bad and maybe I still want more kids :) But seriously though, I am feeling a lot better and more normal. I still get stressed and overwhelmed but not to the extent that I was initially feeling it. And it has seriously been like a week since I've cried! Audree is still keeping me on my toes, but I think she is starting to adjust and isn't being quite as irrational as she was at first. I'm so very very grateful that things are looking up! I may even go to church on sunday...that is if I can wake up :)