Because sometimes being a parent means you have to do tough things

*Note: I've just finished this post and it is really long. Two thumbs way way up to those who make it through ;) and I really don't blame anyone who doesn't make it through or who chooses not to read...rambling can be boring and I'm pretty sure that's what I did. But I wanted to write it, so I did.*

You know those people who don't have any children or just small children and they make comments like, "my child wont be like that," and you just have to sit back, roll your eyes, and choke back a laugh because you once thought that too and then your child became a toddler.

Some days we are left to wonder how that sweet, always smiling bundle of joy could have turned into such a stinker. Well I believe it's because no matter how good natured you or your child are, or how well you've parented them the STILL become a toddler. The phrase "terrible two's" was not coined because only a few people's children become like that. It's because it's a phase that all children go through. So as parents, how do we get through that without totally messing up our child/children? This for me is where parenting really has become tough. We know that discipline is necessary, but enforcing it is a beast.

I saw this article on yahoo the other day that i thought was quite stupid. I wont go into detail about it because some people may agree with it and I don't want to offend others way of doing things but for me personally I don't see how "statistics" or "science" or whatever can tell me how to discipline my child it doesn't know or personally understand. The pediatrician tell us that when she throws a tantrum try to distract it and if that doesn't work just ignore it. Well let me tell you a little about Miss Audree's personality:

From an infant until now Audree has always been a sweetheart. Up until she started to learn to think for herself and do things because she wanted to she was always such an easy baby. But then came the walking, and the walking led to a whole new world and that whole new world opened up her devious little mind and her silly, but stubborn personality. You see, when Audree has her mind set on something she does NOT forget it. No amount of distracting will make her forget what she has in her mind. It may delay it, but it doesn't make it go away. When she throws tantrums, she will not be distracted, leaving me with the option of ignoring it(which is tough cuz she can go for like 10 minutes). She is still young but as we've begun "time out" we have learned that, once again, it does not make her change her mind about what she wants to do. Even if she gets hurt from doing something, she quickly forgets and does it again ie: we were over at my friend Jill's house and she kept climbing up onto their toybox, repeatedly she fell between the toybox and the window and repeatedly she would get right back up and do it again. Even after 20 "no more's" and some "time outs" she still gets back up and does it again. That's our sweet toddler Audree :)

Sometimes this is enough to make a hormonally charged pregnant women go insane!

Other tough things about being a parents include making your child do stuff because it's good for them even if they really hate it. Similar to giving them their shots at their well baby checkups. You absolutely hate that you are causing this child pain, but you know it is the best thing for their health and safety(I know this was mentioned in a talk this past conference). One thing that we have always been strict with is bedtime and naptime. After almost 2 years of enforcing this is still hasn't gotten easier for me. Especially the last couple months. When I put Audree down for her nap I'll read a couple books and then I'll put her down and let her go to sleep on her own. For a long stretch of time she would go down without a fuss. Now that she is becoming so much more aware of everything around her she has been protesting greatly. She tries to distract me with her sweet sad little voice saying things like "color" or "more books," then when she realizes I'm going to put her down she cries and cries. Oh, it can be so tough sometimes. But this is something I knew from even before Audree was born that was an important thing to do. For mother and father's sanity and for good discipline for the child. I'm glad we have been so firm with this because we have been sleeping through the nights ever since Audree was 4 months old. And I get my much needed break while Audree naps.

For me yesterday was a perfect example of one of those tough yet incredibly rewarding days. It's funny how parenting can be so tough sometimes but the love and dependence of that toddler makes it all worth it. Yesterday I decided to not procrastinate getting ready like is the norm for me. So I was all ready to go by like 10 and at about 11 we headed out for a walk and then went to the park. Audree loved it of course. She absolutely loves being outside which is as much of a curse as a blessing. It's nice to know that for the hour or two we are out there she will be happy and smiling and entirely enjoying herself but once that time is over it's a fight to get her inside. A 10-20 minute tantrum almost makes that hour or two of peace and fun not worth it...Audree also likes to bring her tantrums to me. It's not enough just to whine about it, she comes and whines at me, if I walk away she just follows me and continues whining at me :) sometimes it does make me laugh though I don't show it to her.

So that whole time outside I am enjoying myself and loving that Audree is enjoying herself. It's a pretty rewarding thing to see your child having so much fun. But then it comes time to go inside and things get tough. Of course I can't give in and let her keep playing because 1. children need discipline and consistency, 2. I am 9 months pregnant and tired and 3. It's lunch time and I'm starving and though she could care less about eating, she needs to eat. Yesterday I was actually able to get her inside without a tantrum by letting her know we'd watch the Princess and the Frog before naptime. Man that movie has pretty much saved my life. I have now seen it like 15 times b/c we have watched it every day for the past week or so. It was her reward for coming in without a fight and she definitely earned it because those fights are difficult ones(especially for a 9 month pregnant lady who has to drag a 30 lb toddler around when she throws a tantrum and refuses to walk on her own). So far so good. Well of course the afternoon meant naptime which meant I had to deal with that fight :( Usually she cries for like 5 minutes but yesterday she cried for about 30, woke up 20 minutes later, cried for another 20 or so woke up about 30 minutes later and whined on and off until I gave in and got her out of bed. :S My reward after this though? Well that's getting to see her freaking adorable face when I go get her. The first thing she said when I got her up yesterday was "nose, eww." I looked at her face and she had some snot coming out of her nose and a little tear streak down her face...probably only a mother could find that endearing, and I did.

After dinner and stuff we went for another walk as a family and then let Audree run around our joke of a yard. She of course was in heaven and loving it. Once again being 9 months pregnant I had to sit. So I plopped my big booty on the driveway while Mark followed her around. Here comes the absolute best part of my day, Audree was headed back in my direction and so I held out my arms and said "can mommy have hugs?" and she grins from ear to ear and runs straight at me all the while vocalizing her pleasure and nearly plows me over with a huge hug. You know what that hug did for me? It made me forget that she managed to climb into the baby's swing while I was putting my makeup on and then attempted to do it again and again until I hid it in the closet and then she proceeded to throw a tantrum. It made me also forget that she climbed into the baby's bouncer and nearly broke it even though I've told her over and over again that she can't get in there. It made me forget all the tough, yet necessary, disciplining I had to do.

So even though some days parenting can be really really tough it's always rewarding in the end(for me at least). I mean how can I not just melt to pieces when my little girl expresses her love for me in such cute ways. It seriously makes all the tough decisions I have to make every day worth it. Because anyone who thinks parenting is a piece of cake is seriously kidding themselves. Thank goodness for this past conference that focused a lot on parenting and gives all us moms the motivation to continue doing better and to try our hardest with these spirits we have been entrusted with. I love my little Audree and I am so grateful for her. She teaches me every day. As the time draws close for me to have another child I feel myself loving her even more. I can't help but snatch her up multiple times a day and give her big squeezes. I can't help but plant 50 kisses on her cheek when she does something adorable, which is often, especially now that she is starting to talk a lot more. I love her so stinking much and I know she'll be an awesome big sister.

And I just want to finish by saying that I hope we can all learn not to judge parents too harshly, especially if you haven't yet had the opportunity to be one. Parenting is hard, and our children will try us to our wits end. Every parent has different experiences with their children and they all have different things that make them tick. I know that I now have a huge appreciation for all mothers out there who try their hardest, it is not an easy job and sometimes we are left feeling like terrible people. Sometimes we lose our temper, sometimes we make decisions to protect our sanity and sometimes we just have days where all we can get our child to eat is graham crackers, ketchup and milk. But we all try our hardest and do our best and that's what is important. If we were perfect then we wouldn't be here. And thank you to all my mother friends out there who I respect and appreciate. You are all great mothers and are good examples to me. And in return I thank you for your respect towards me as a mother. I know we all try our hardest and even when we get together and share experiences of how much our children try us we all still love our children and do our best. It's nice to have friends who understand and it's nice to be able to relate and learn from each other.