Respect

(This comment is not about anybody who reads my blog)

In my mind respect is quite simple. If you want people to respect you you have to give them respect. In the parent-child relationship there comes a time when things should evolve. While maintaining appreciation for the respective roles that each play as the child grows the relationship should evolve into more...friends, confidants, mentors...But if the relationship can't evolve because the parent thirsts to maintain the power they exercised over small children then how can the younger party maintain a respectful view of their parent? Especially if that parent thinks their position justifies talking crap about their child in a public place such as facebook...where it is quite obvious that it will be seen by the person to whom the comment is directed.

Elder Ballard in his talk spoke of mothers and daughters. A great talk when taken in the intended context. The words were not meant as a weapon to villainize the daughter who does not follow blindly the mother. Given the mother is faithful and teaches by example then the daughter will see that example and want to be like her mother. Respect, love, endearment for parents should be cultivated by the parents constant desire to love, respect and appreciate their children and then in turn, seeing that example, the child can then also love respect and appreciate that parent. But demanding those things without acting in accordance with those things yourself...do as I say not as I do is the worst of principals to live by. Abusing situations for the sake of maintaining power is a cruel game to play. Provoking people into situations so you can exercise that power is sick and wrong. So when acting this way and then wondering why no respect is received...well it's simple, NO respect is given. If you want to be respected then have the decency to treat others with respect. Respect who they are, and the individual experiences and knowledge they have gained, then they will respect you back.

Mothers not only should teach their daughters(by not only words but also example) but they should also learn from their daughters. Likewise daughters, given the right example, can learn from their mothers and, given the mothers willingness to learn, can also teach their mothers. Given the right perspective parents and children can be friends, confidants, mentors, AND still be a good family maintaining the same dynamic of parents and children.

I appreciated the many talks in Conference about parenting. The words of the prophets are strong. I was truly uplifted(albeit slightly overwhelmed) with the words spoken on parenting. Parents play such an important role in the lives of children and it makes me ever more determined to be the kind of mom that they spoke of. To be constantly teaching and bearing testimony in the home of things I know to be true. I am the farthest thing from super-mom but I try hard to be the best mom to Audree that I can. I know many days I fall short but I awake in the morning with renewed determination to do better, to not just be a nurturer but also a teacher, a provider, a friend to play/color/watch movies with and most importantly a good example of the things I want Audree to want to be.

With the birth of our second daughter swiftly approaching I sometimes become overwhelmed with the impending increase in responsibilities and time to be devoted even more greatly away from myself. Even with these sometimes overwhelming thoughts I have no greater desire in this world then to be a mother. And I know with the words our prophets have given I will be able to manage all the things I sometimes feel are impossible to do. I plan on keeping the May issue of the Ensign at the ready just for the situations when I start to get down, overwhelmed or forgetful....and even selfish. Parenthood is a grand mission to take on, but it is something that I CHOSE to take on and I am responsible for the earthly lives of these sweet little spirits that I have brought/am bringing into the world. I pray every day that I can live up to my duties and responsibilities as a mother. I love my sweet little Audree and Arya and I am so blessed to be their mother.